emotions,  Life choices

Are you a Porter?

“You learn to put your emotional baggage where it will do some good, instead of using to shit on other people, or to blow up airplanes” Margaret Drabble

Do you know the feeling of coming home after meeting with friends and being really tired? Somehow these friends seem to be taking away my energy and personal mind-space. It is difficult to describe what it really feels like, but it is very clear that it makes me tired. I end up most of the time doing activities with people that I don’t want to do. Things they should be doing, but don’t have the time for, or it is not their thing. It is of course so kind of me that I could help them out. The question is: Is it my thing? Do I have time for these activities? They certainly have never taken their time to ask me. Silly, I feel that I am insignificant for them, but important enough to hand over their stuff.

These are, so to say all material things or actions. It just takes a lot of my time. Time, that is not theirs to take from me. Over the years I have learned to refuse to go around to these coffee/lunch meets. But, it is the non-material baggage some try to leave behind, like their worries and responsibilities. The fact that a child needs to have a play date or sleepover, because the sibling is having one. Perhaps, that the parents need some quiet time. This is mind boggling to me, as I have three children myself. Then of course, there are people that feel that they never get invited for anything and I feel responsible to make sure that they are invited. Nevertheless, when they come, they are always tired, not feeling well or simply unpleasant to the rest of the group. These responsibilities weigh very heavily on my shoulders and if I am honest to myself, I am wondering why? Funny how it becomes a strange habit.

All this baggage that I carry around with myself, makes me very tired whenever I think about it. So, I take a good look at all the things I carry around with me. What among those, are really my responsibilities? It is very interesting when I take a good look at most of my concerns, because quite a few of them have nothing to do with me. So it is about time I begin to return some of the baggage to the rightful owners. That isn’t always easy, because some people just don’t want their baggage back. They are happy for me to keep on carrying them. So then, I leave them behind, and it becomes the choice of the proud owner to make a decision. Whatever they decide is good for them, but at least not my responsibility.

I wonder, what baggage will you choose to leave at the carousel today?

© Renee Vos de Wael 2011


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