Asking for help, it does seem difficult at times – but why is this so? Are you too proud to ask – as you want to show you can do it all yourself? Or are you too shy – not sure what kind of reaction it will trigger? Or is it related to an unfamiliarity on the best manner to ask in the first place – never finding the right time, place or words? For me, it is also related to how I was raised – asking for help was not a custom in our family. Funnily enough, there was a lot of complaining if no one would help the family, even more so as they felt they were always helping others. Wasn’t that a reason to expect it back? It took me some time to realize that you have to give some kind of signal to your surroundings that you need help. Because although I was always able to read and understand the energy around people and how to interpret it. I also learned that this wasn’t natural to everyone around me! It is also a lot easier to give than to receive. That is something we learn from a young age. Even if it is your last breath or last reserve of energy.
That there is a balance in asking and receiving help, I learned later. It is also a way to understand and receive a lot of love, (new) friendship and blessings into your life. I’m very lucky to live my gypsy life and move around the world quite a bit. This way I can experience many different cultures and views in this world. One experience I had in Japan taught me to see the balance in asking for help and the amazing experience it gave me. I have experienced the beauty of giving and receiving help, one on one. I help you and you help me. Never was I in a situation where I wasn’t able to use my words nor to give back. Here I was in middle of Tokyo station trying to find my way back to Yokohama, which is about 50 kilometers south of Tokyo (Japan). The kids were finishing school very soon and I had to find my way back. Tokyo station is enormous and had very few signs in English at the time – my Japanese language skills were very limited. A friend told me when I just arrived in Japan, always to take my address with me in Japanese. So when my stress levels were getting to a panic mode, I just held out my address in front of me. In my head I thought: HELP ME, PLEASE. Trying to look relaxed and open at the same time. Not a good combination, to be honest. Out of nowhere this little old Japanese man came. Looked at me, looked at my sign. Looked at me again. Then he respectfully nodded at me. Took my arm and started walking through Tokyo station. We didn’t talk, that felt really strange. It must have been really funny to look at this little Japanese man pulling this tall European lady. After a short period, we stopped in front of a train and he just said: “Yokohama”, and gave me a nod and a very loud “Hi”. I got in the train, he waited until the train left the station. I kept saying “Arrigato” (which means “thank you” in Japanese) and waved to him. Not sure if that was the right protocol, but it felt good. This wonderful man had just made my day! I managed to get to school on time and the special feeling of receiving help without any strings was amazing.
I started to look at this way of giving help and how you always get back what you send out in the world. If I could help a mum with her shopping, because joggling kids and shopping can be a challenge, or picking up some of the rubbish on the floor to keep the play-area clean, it would come back to me in many different ways. That girl at the Starbucks giving me a cup of tea, because I always smiled to her. Or someone giving me a ticket for a parking place, already paid. While writing this, there are many more situations coming to my mind. I bet you have some great experiences as well. I would love to hear some of yours!