“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” ~ Søren Kierkegaard
It is silly, but I was just wondering how can you leave your opinion about oneself behind. Growing up we all go thru different phases in life. We learn to fit in and slowly get shaped by the events and experiences we have in our life. There are the normal day to day ones of course, we go to school, do homework, grow up, get a degree or not. Move to the next phases of work or an apprentice and into growing up a little more. This is the baseline for a lot of us. Parallel to this there are the exceptional experiences. The things that shape us and teach us fear and sorrow. Losing a loved, looking for control and ending up with an eating disorder, people with we should be able to be safe , but misusing this trust. Of course the good exceptional experiences. Finding a special person to spend the rest of you life with, birth of a child, reaching a goal that you never thought possible. All these experiences make us to the person we are. The interesting thing I find is that we personally see these experiences completely different from our loved ones around us.
We put our selves into a box and put a label on that box. Small person, not smart, only invited one there is a spare seat, get lost in the crowd. When you would talk to some dear friend of this person they have a completely different view on them. Social, bubbly, great organizer, always welcome, know how to dress well. Why do we view ourselves in this light? The most important question is of course: “How do we change this?”. It is of course not easy and most of the time we don’t even notice that we’re doing this. It has become a kind of second nature. We learn the perfect way to play our part. This takes a lot of energy and there is of course also the fact that we do change in our life time, because of all the experiences we have. We’re not the same person we were 10 years ago and certainly not the same person 30 years ago. People we don’t see very often will remember us in a certain way, but funny enough it is most of the time in a positive way. If we look back there are not a lot of nasty people we remember. I know there are exception, but luckily enough we have a tendency to remember the best memory’s about our journey.
That is why I’m so surprised why we don’t do this about ourselves. When I look at old pictures, I see myself having fun with a lot of people. Having great holiday’s with wonderful girls friends and being part of a lot of different social groups. I do notice that I have changed. We figure out that sometimes are not as important as they use to be. There is no right way in that, your own way becomes the best way. Funny enough we keep pushing ourselves over and over to be the person we were before. This takes a lot of energy out of us. To accept one selves in the wonderful person we have become will make it all a lot easier. This will help us to attract the new and desire things into our life’s. Just open up that box and take off that label. This way you can enjoy that wonderful person you are at this moment, just as many around you already do.