blog,  Personal development

Discover the world of yourself.

It is one thing to set yourself a challenge and then really go out there and do it. To truly start now with introducing myself, I can feel this enormous resist coming to me and a big question mark on how do I do this. Maybe people close to me and read this think that I have been lying or secretively been dishonest to them.  This is so not true; I have just come to a point where figuring out who I am, will help me to become a better partner, friend.

It is really scary to start figuring out to who you are.  It is so much easier to be the chameleon I have been for such a long time.  To just be the person I think fits best in the situation I am in. I do show up as me, but just me with alterations. It is maybe just been my way of coping within my environment. In a way a choice to fit in, fear that thought that the alterations were necessary.


google image. Thank you

I do remember for example to go and play golf.  From the first step I took on that golf course it was very clear to me that it wasn’t my thing.  Not because it is easy or a silly thing, but simple because it just doesn’t get me enthusiastic.  I love sports, active, challenges sports. Golf is just not one of these sports.  But I was new to this place and really wanted to meet people and these ladies all seemed to be playing golf.  So I joined and it never gave me any energy or fun. It did give me a opportunity to get to know new people.  It also taught me that getting to know new people in a setting that doesn’t suit you, it is really difficult to get to know them. Just for the simple reason that there is no connection. No heart connection in what we are doing. Relationships are all build on a connection with one another. This can be something we like or interested in.

So to figure out the person you are has probably a lot to do with the fact where is your own heart connection. How can we show up as the best person, that one we already are?  Not only for our work environment, but also in our personal environment. It has to be a complete picture to get this answer as honest as possible. To figure out who we are, we need to know what our passion is. What is it that gets the connection going between people, a situation or an activity?  Even if we are doing something we don’t particular like, we can still try to find a connection with our own core. This will give us an opportunity to be ourselves and not loose ourselves into a role that suits other(s).

By figuring out to stay true to myself, I need to find a way to know how I do connect with people around me.  I am very sensitive and have been going overboard with fitting in.  To a point where it would completely deplete me and I got physical ill.  I couldn’t keep up any more and my own spirit had enough.  There is a point in your life were your body and mind start talking to you and you have to go and do something.  Of course it is not easy to change habits that I worked on so hard to perfect them, but when your body and mind start wearing out there is only one solution. Start figuring out what is going on. Finding that place where your soul is hiding. This way you can start and invite the body-mind-soul to take actively part of your day-to-day life.

This is where the journey starts.  Realizing you have not deceived to be any one in your life, but yourself.  People around you are not expecting this of you.  To be honest they rather have you around them in the real version than anything else.  So figuring all this out is never to late and it will open new doors. It even helps to deepen friendships around you. We all have our own choices to make.



  • Charlene Bartolo

    Renee– I totally agree with the points you make in your article. In my undergraduate and graduate study in the field of psychology many years ago, I realized how important it is to become a self-actualized person that realizes who I am and then have the confidence, security, and strength to allow others to understand too. Have a nice week!

  • Cynthia Ann Tanner

    Hi Renee, I am so grateful to read this post. I too have not found out really who I am and have been really starting to learn a little more about the true me. I have always thought I knew, but have found myself to always having done for everyone else. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining or even regretful of anything that has happened in my life, but it wasn’t until the last few months of 2010 that I ever even thought that I didn’t really know much about who I was or what I really wanted. I used to run from everything. I still have a long way to go, and to be honest I still don’t know exactly who I am or what I really want and I’m 53. I have been going to school to further my education and I really don’t even know what I am doing is what I want. After all I haven’t been able to find out if there is a job that pays for being a student. LOL! Seriously though, I love learning new things, and yes I have learned a lot over the years when it comes to life’s lessons, but the schooling is something I have been lacking in. Reading your post every time I get them in my email really helps me, especially knowing you are going through finding your true self too.
    The being very sensitive and trying to fit in is something I know well, also. You are beautiful just the way you are, and I want you to know that you have helped me to make a huge difference in my life, as I have been following you for quite some time now. Thank you for all you do, and I want you to know that you are an ANGEL in my eyes.

  • Carol Pilkington

    Renee, It can be very scary to embark on the journey of Self and discover what that really is. When all the identifications with which we believe ourselves to be are stripped away we are left with the truth of who we really are. Then the work is to integrate that and live it daily and take responsibility for it.

    Thank you for sharing.

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