Being in this life, I didn’t understand. Growing up I always saw myself as different, I had different desires and was looking for a place to feel safe. This lead to me not understanding what everyone else was doing or talking about when they were thinking or dreaming about their home. But you know, you grow up, and you learn how the rules of the society/tribe you’re in are lived by. So I figured out what kind of clothes to wear, I learned how to behave, and also knew that being a good girl was important, I should finish high school and my many other studies over the years.
But I always wanted to break out.
It started with putting up little advertisements on the wall for finding my apartment. Always searching for that place that would feel like home. So at the correct age, I found a room to rent and went on with my studies. I have met a lot of people over the years. People, who worked well with me, individuals who didn’t work so well with me.
Now I do understand that this was mainly because they were not feeling that good about themselves. New friends or old friends, or even people I met for just one day were searching like me. For an answer to that nagging feeling of where do I belong? How do I find my way to my home? So after travelling for almost 17 years, living in 8 different countries, many different continents of the world and still never feeling home!
Until recently, I took some time out and created a sacred space to tap into what I was looking. What do I need to build a home? What does that look like, this home I have been looking for all this time? What are the essential ingredients for me? The conclusion I came to was that a lot of my list I already have.
I have a family who loves me just for me. My life is full of travel, lots of learning. Lots of visiting new places, exploring, and feeling many, many, different cultures. Most importantly though, I have me, and I need true friends, honest friends, and people who are not afraid to be authentic. During the journey I have been on finding my home, I came to the conclusion home is already here. It was time to embrace it, to move in so to speak. It is time to live it. Home is not so much a place in a particular country. Home with you and that can be a different location every day.
So here we are, and I can say I am home. There is a home for everyone. Finding a home, finding a place that you call home. It is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. It gives you an opportunity to ground yourself and breath.