You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight. Jim Rohn
A long weekend is coming up on our side of the world and we have decided to travel. As we live in Africa, it takes a lot of preparations towards the date when we finally drive off. So all the paperwork is filled in and the authorities are dealt with. We drive, together with three other families and accompanying security personnel to the border. We know that the real negotiations will start then, because we need to dash (A small pay-off of cash) the right people in order to receive the correct stamps, so that we can cross the border. There are three gates and all require different dash amounts. We are ‘fresh fish’ and our appearance gives away the fact that we are not from their part of the world. So their voices are louder and their facial expressions stronger. I choose to take a step back, because this is not my game. It is interesting to see it for what it is. This is their job, their livelihood and today they are in luck with us tourists. So we decide to not yell back, but to try and understand the rules. This is my choice and I decide the direction I take.
At the next gate it was I, who helped them. Our car was parked in front of a truck and the truck was ready to go. We were told to park there and my husband left the car to organize the next set of stamps and forms. So there was no man in the car. Of course I had the car keys and can drive the car, but I am not a man. The men surrounding my car didn’t know what to do. I was very curious as to what they were going to do. Finally, a man came towards me, I thought perhaps he is going to move my car away, but instead he came to ask me, where the driver was. I told him that he was getting the paperwork organized. They know as well as I that it can take anything between ten minutes to four hours. A big sigh on his side, so I decide to step in and ask what the problem was, maybe I could help? Well… The car has to be moved, so it is not something I could do. But I do have the key, and so I can do it. The men made sure that NO one was around my car, because Madam was going to drive. It took me thirty seconds to move the car. But the men were very impressed, so maybe I have changed their perception about women and cars. Also, I could be who I am and this is so nice to take the experience for what it is worth. Nothing more nor less, just take my own direction.
It is not always easy to take a step back, because others will try to pull you into their game. They will keep changing the rules, just to make sure that you are always one step behind. It is up to you to make a decision on where you want to go. Maybe they get angry or upset because you take off towards your own direction. They will understand at one point or another. Some will join you on this new direction and others will say goodbye to you.
There is no wrong way or right way, but there is your way.