Letting go, but you don’t want to…

I have been asked about using essential oils with people who are terminally ill and dying. When this happens, it makes me sit up and take notice, as these are not randomly brought up subjects. Dealing with grieve and death is a subject we don’t always openly talk about.

Facing death is one of the most difficult things we do as humans — whether you are religious or not. And whether or not you believe in heaven or hell, particular beliefs don’t always make facing death any easier. As a result, everyone copes with the idea of death and facing it themselves, differently.

Whether it’s your own death or that of a loved one, death seems like a frightening, unknown experience, no matter how brave one appears to be. Therefore, we would certainly recommend you read books on near-death experience and facing death. Death is almost never a small experience. Rather, it is the biggest transition we make in this life.

To help you choose here are some thoughts to consider


Cardamom – has the theme of being able to ease the passage of the dying to the next plane of existence.
Frankincense – encourages acceptance and understanding
Ginger – Promotes acceptance where previously there was only an urge for struggle and fighting
Grapefruit – fosters acceptance, inner peace, forgiveness and self-forgiveness
Lemon – Can be helpful for those terrified of dying.
Myrrh – has themes of ageing, degeneration and dying
Rosewood – fosters acceptance, inner peace, forgiveness and self-forgiveness
Sandalwood – promotes peace and acceptance and in Spiritual,
Ylang Ylang – encourages acceptance of who you are.

If the person has a favorite essential oil that they love, it can also be a good idea to incorporate that into your blend. This will help them to feel at home. Sometimes the smell can be a great support to share memories and help a conversation between loved ones that is important to have. It helps people to find closer. In the period grieve is dark for all ones, you might also want to make different blends to help support the family and friends through their own process of letting go and coming to terms with the realities of the situation.

Whatever oils you finally do choose to use in your case, I hope and pray that they will bring comfort to everyone concerned.


  • Jennifer

    This is such great information Renee – I wish I had known more about it when I was going through the loss of my husband. Looking back I know it would have been a tremendous support for him and I know that later as I was going through my grieving process essential oils were an amazing tool. I love frankincense, ylang ylang…. and you didnt’ mention this one, but lavender was my “go to” when I felt overwhelmed with the huge changes that losing a loved one created in my life. Lavender baths before bed helped bring a calm and much more restful night’s sleep. Thank you for this!

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